You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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