Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
