That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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