well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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