i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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