I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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