Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
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She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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