it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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