you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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