is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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