lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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