She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
