Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
