That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
