Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it hurts more in the daytime
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
True strength comes from lack of pants
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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