well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
