I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
