I should be sponsored by Trojan
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love you.
Bad choice
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize