whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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