I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
birth control should be required to get into college
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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