Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
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I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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