U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
