you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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