no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
