I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
