Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
