He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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