hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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