She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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