its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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