i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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