I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
