she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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