Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
