She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
