I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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