i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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