you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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