I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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