Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
