I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
