He uses pillows to masturbate.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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