Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
