I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
