Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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