I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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