I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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