My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
