Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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