I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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