Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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