i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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