Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
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