If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Are my feet made of real feet?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
