Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
