i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
