problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You can't special order awesome
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
