Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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