As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
