my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
