I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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